today i was snorkling at poipu beach park and swam with two sea turtles for about 15 minutes. was pretty awesome. also saw, i think, a small snowflake moray eel.

Surprise having that restless sleep after a pretty cool weekend. I did all that I wanted and should have been doing. Took cat naps during the afternoon. Went on a hike. Shared meals with friends. Even planted flowers along my back door step. So now I won’t have to look at an empty planter for a while. The lady at the garden told me that these species do well in the shade. Fingers be crossed that she knows what’s up.

I bought a frame for a picture of the muir wood that my sister sent to me. On the last day of the year in 2003 we went for a walk in the muir woods up in San Francisco. Worked great for me cause it was so beautiful and so peaceful. 2003 wasn’t the easiest year for me. My grandmother died and my father died. When he got diagnosed with cancer in late 2002, I knew that 2003 would be a year of loss. Last year was spent in mourning with all the emotional upheavels that implies. Wasn’t easy and isn’t over, but on that last day of the year. Amongst the red woods, I made a decision to remember that life does go on.

In that stretch of red woods there is a creek running alongside the tall trees. For the first time in my life, I saw fish swimming up the creek to get back to their place of birth to spawn. We stood alongside the creek and watched the fish struggle against the current. One fish got bounced back and fell down over a waterfall. Another fish turned on its side for what reason I don’t know. Another two just kept swimming to keep their place. But all kept up the fight to live. The stuggle to make it home, lay their eggs and then die gracefully. I guess they were coming full circle. I read somewhere that death isn’t the horrible thing. Its the end of birth that is the horror. Cause that means extinction. The truth of birth is that death will come. Without birth there is no life, no creation. So, for a species the worst thing would be an end of birth, not the end of an individual life. To the creators bringing forth life, hurray. For the angels that bring sunlight to the seed to help it grow, hurray. Sentimental, but still delicious to me.

As my sister says to me all the time, peace and love.

My friend bought me a book titled the Artist’s Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity for Christmas, I guess. I was away during the break so she didn’t have a chance to give it to me until after the new year began — which fit my timing perfectly.

The book starts off with an assignment called The Morning Pages. Basically, each day we’re supposed to write 3 pages of anything. Its purpose is explained in the book, so if you wanna know more check it out there. I recommend taking a look at it, but whether the morning papers is usefull, well, check back here over the next several days and see what happens.

Although, don’t forget to give me a break. The author, Julia Cameron, does suggest that the morning papers be private and that even myself should not read it (except for maybe like a week later). Its purpose is solely to get us writing.

Stream of conscious style. Doesn’t matter the quality but rather its the quantity. Maybe it will help to slow my mind and expel the myriad thoughts that race about each day. In that respect, its a concentrated meditation practice.

A long time ago, I did a meditation retreat in Chiang Mai, Thailand at a temple named Wat Ram Poeng. We did insight meditation.

Its different from concentration meditation in that the practice focuses on acknowledging thoughts and feelings as they arise and then return to concentrating on counting breathes. So, if a thought arises, I would say silently to myself — Thinking, Thinking, Thinking. If I head something, I would think — Hearing, Hearing, Hearing. If I smelled something, Smelling, Smelling, Smelling. And then try to return to breathing, breathing, breathing.

I guess the morning papers would be like that in that one of its goals is to get me into the present moment where the writing just flows. Without any judgement as to its length, content, or meaning. Meaning will come later. Quality will come later. Now, its time to put in some practice time.

I’m listening to KCRW Morning Becomes Ecletic simulcast on iTunes. Also been listening to Groove Salad — a tasty place of ambient beats and grooves.

After my second cup of coffee, I’m going for a walk in Griffith Park. Got to go boil some water now and get ready to read some morning papers — now that I’ve written some of my own morning papers. Sillyboy. Oh, there is that Censor that Julia talks about that squashes creativity. I better not judge this and you, gentle reader, better not either.

ciao 4 now.

scott

This is possible.

Deep heartfelt thanks to all my loved ones willing to show me their patience. It is a mark of true love. And I feel it.

Last night, I stayed up late, chatting, coding, and setting up movetable type on my new server. This morning, I got up late and am now enjoying some coffee and tea cakes.

Just got an email from Ben at six apart wishing us a thank you and good holiday. They also did an upgrade as a xmas present, so after a wee bit thinking what to do, I did the install. It went very easy. Probably spent more time on the energy to bitch than just getting busy, jumping in and getting the job done.

I’m planning on finishing my fine hot cup of coffee, throw on some jeans, slap on a hat, and head into the outside to play with friends. Ah, the holidays are sweet that way.

Here is a something I read this morning that brought me a bit of inspiration.

There isn’t anything I’d wipe off the slate
even during the worst experiences
there was somebody I got to know,
or something about the place we were in,
something memorable. A lesson.

Happiness or satifisfaction, is not something that one can actively seek. A sense of well being does not depend on outside events, but rather on how we interpret them.

Something to feel about. em ciao.